Rebeca in Haiti V: Homeward-bound

Hmm... I didn't do that well at keeping up my blog, did I? In my defence, I do microblog every day.

I'm writing from Canada at the moment, during an official snow day, and with about 40cm of snow piled up at my doorstep. I've been "home" for about a month and somehow, my mind is still in Haiti. It has been quite a change to come back, and not just weather-wise -- which seems to be all that people want to comment on. Yes, I get it, Canada is so very very cold and Haiti is so very very warm.... Ha   Ha   Ha.

~temperature~

Anyways, the hardest thing to let go, has not the weather or the people, but the sense that I was doing something meaningful and interesting. Yes, I was only an intern there but I rarely felt that way. At the beginning of the new fiscal year in October, the staff was cut down considerably but the workload stayed the same.  This gave the interns (there were two of us) the opportunity to take on tasks that were beyond out of our respective experience and areas of expertise. However, I really enjoyed it. Of course, sometimes I could feel like I was being a little bit overworked... but I always felt like I could say no to a task. I did say no a couple of times. It was challenging. It was stimulating, I was learning a lot, and I felt valued. In the end, I am confident that I managed to make a contribution to the office where I was placed.

The novelty of being back has worn off now (sorry, friends and family). I often catch myself being restless, anxious and feeling as though I've gone backwards in my nascent career. Following a required 

debrief workshop from the Centre of Intercultural Effectiveness, I know that those feelings are normal symptoms of "reverse culture shock" but knowing it doesn't make me feel any better... 

I am employed, which is lucky, in the customer service dept. at WV. The work environment is great and sometimes I can't believe how nice and helpful everyone is. This makes me see myself staying there for a while, even if it's not part of my ~career path~. I do only work part time and in the evenings so ideally, I will be able to get a second 9 to 5 job that is more aligned to the type of work I want to do.

To be honest, I have no idea what the future holds, which is scarier than it is exciting. I am a planner and I have so many plans at this moment that I might as well have no plans. You feel me?

My default strategy to cope with uncertainty and stress is to leave. Going through the process of settling in a new place is always the same and so familiar to me, it gives me a great sense of security. I have thought about going away to do my masters or finding a job abroad but I don't think it's such a good idea at this time. 

I have a lot of things to deal with, fears to conquer, and money to save. I also need to learn how to drive! In order to do so, I am choosing, for maybe the first time in a while, to stay put in Toronto... 

Less of this

Canadian flag in France

A little more of this

OK I promise to stay put in Canada, at least. Moving to Montreal would be pretty cool. 

P.S. sorrynotsorry for all the introspective bull

Rebeca in Haiti Volume IV: Paciencia, piojo

It's been a while! It is now almost the end of my time in Haiti and I feel like I should take a moment to reflect on the many changes that have happened during this internship -- I've changed, the work has changed, the country has changed, and my intestinal flora has definitely changed. This is Part I. 

Haiti has been, among other things, a lesson in patience...

In my everyday life, I gained some perspective. 

I've always been impatient and, maybe as a consequence, a bit of an instigator (note: if you are a potential employer, let me turn that around and say that I'm self driven and a leader). As a child, I would always come up with crazy (innovative) activities and incite the few friends I had to partake. As I got older, I would try to convince people around me to attend certain events, travel, go out, etc. (such a leader!). When I moved to Toronto, I discovered there were little to no barriers to doing whatever you want in terms of entertainment. There are a million options, available public transportation, safety, an OK nightlife, people everywhere, etc.

Haiti was an adjustment in that respect. The biggest challenge, as loser-ly as it may sound, was finding opportunities to socialize and make friends. I was so desperate for engaging in human interaction outside the office that I joined a running club! Me, who barely passed gym in high-school. As great as it is to be able to go out anywhere, anytime, with anyone in Toronto, it remains privilege rather than a basic necessity. It took me some time, but now I know that it's OK to stay home because you have no money, or no one can drive you, or there is a riot, or you have no one to go out with. It's important to keep your expectations in line with your context.

Work-wise, I learnt that there are too many variables for there too be a guarantee that hard work and good ideas will result in positive outcomes. You just have to use whatever resources you have, work as hard as you can, and hope for the best. 

In University, innovation and staying on top of the literature of your particular area seemed like the most important thing in life. Faculty members were always open to whatever weird idea you may have, as long as you found the right citation. Professors, were probably just happy that someone was engaging with the course material! In my final years at University, I was convinced that anything was possible with a good idea, a careful review of the literature, a sound methodology, and hard work.

In the real world, and especially in the Humanitarian or Development sector, things seem to be a bit trickier. Funding, staff, and time can be limited. There is also a considerable amount of red tape to navigate, guidelines to follow, and donor expectations to meet, which can be frustrating for the incorporation of new research and new ideas. You also might find yourself working with such a wide variety of viewpoints, expertise, cultures, etc...

To give you an example, there were a lot of times in Haiti where I would pitch some idea for a project (inspired maybe by something I had read it was the "next big thing in development") to my supervisor. Sometimes, granted, it was a bad idea. But other times I really believed in it but I had to let it go because we didn't have the resources or the time to develop it. It was frustrating at first but then I saw the importance of picking my battles, and focus on whatever seemed more possible and sustainable.

I guess, one of the most important lessons I learnt is that no matter the situation, I should keep in mind the context I am in, and always be patient and flexible. Not just with others but with myself.

Sunset, in Seguin near "Kay Winni"

Rebeca in Haiti Volume III: Crossing the border to the Dominican Republic

Expatriates working in so-called high security or hardship posts are often compensated with more vacation days and higher salaries or pay allowances than their colleagues working in easier/safer locations. The extent of these depend on the organization or company but it seems to be the norm. More than perks, these benefits are put in place to guarantee that people will be able to handle the stress of living in an unfamiliar and potentially dangerous location, often away from their families, and be able to successfully carry out their assignments. 

Most expats in Haiti told us that they needed to get away every three months in order to keep their sanity. It didn't have to be an extravagant trip but at least a hop across the border to spend a couple of days in the dominican republic. To enjoy the beach or maybe to experience more exotic pleasures unavailable in Haiti such as going to the movies or the mall...

When I joined my fellow intern, she had already been in Haiti for about 6 weeks and the country was still considered a hardship post. The designation remained so until the end of september. However, as interns we did not have access to the same benefits as legit expatriates do. As if being younger, and having less international experience would exempt you from going insane! On the contrary... I guess the logic was that we wouldn't need to take days off since we were only going to be there for 6 months. However, when September came around, I could sense that the combination of our lack of privacy, not being able to walk around alone, curfews, and transportation issues were starting to get to us. It wasn't as bad for me as for my fellow intern who had gone over the 3 month mark.

Playa Diamante in the Dominican Rep.

Our supervisors were more than happy to give us a couple of days off. Initially, we had thought about maybe visiting to other islands nearby but travelling within the caribbean is crazy expensive! In the end, we booked a trip to the Dominican Republic for the first week of october. Taking the recommendation of some friends, we decided to check out the capital Santo Domingo, and "Cabarete" in the North Coast. My friend came to meet us from New York and we had such a crazy, fun Holiday together. Cabarate is kind of a weird place in that it seems to have become a refuge for retired european adventure travellers who might or might not be running away from the law and young people who are really water sports. Maybe in relation to that, it is sadly also a hot spot for prostitution.  On that cheerful note, do scroll down for pictures...

*Santo Domingo*

We first stayed in a pretty awesome and super cheap Hostel called "Condominium Parque" and on our way back, we stayed in a Hotel called Paseo Colonial, which was pretty grim. We only spent 2 nights there but it was nice. We got to go to the movies, do some shopping, eat some mangu, and some orange juice with leche condensada. Pretty solid place.

Pedestrian Shopping Street in Old Town

Louisa, fellow intern, housemate, and friend

Old Town

Old Town

Kittie!

Kelsey :) my friend who came from NYC

Louisa

the town

*Cabarete*

We stayed in this awesome hostel called Cabarete Surf Camp where we met all these weird, awesome people. We divided our 5 days there between surf lessons in the morning, massages at the beach in the afternoon, food, and drinks in the evenings. It was great.

Surf at Playa Encuentro

Surf, playa encuentro

Surf camp

Kelsey

Cabarete

Cabarete, wind surf is huge there

Playa Diamante 

Cabarete

Surf in Cabarete is also pretty good

Relaxing

Cabarete

When we came back, it was incredible how much that little week reinvigorated us. Personally, I never actually felt like I needed a break, I only realized how much I needed it when I returned and saw my productivity and well-being increase significantly. Ironically, what kept stressed me out in Haiti were more the security restriction rather that any actual danger that I encountered. Going to the dominican and feeling free to go anywhere, while not having such a drastic change in scenery allowed me to recharge batteries. I guess never underestimate the power of a vacation!

Rebeca In Haiti Volume II: the state of affairs

I think it’s hard, if not impossible, to paint a fair picture of Haiti to someone who has never been here. You could perhaps say that about every place but I feel like I have to be more cautions with Haiti. I am always afraid that by sharing pictures of beaches, my life here may seem unrealistically idyllic. I am equally afraid to make the situation here seem more precarious than how it actually is (note: it's pretty precarious). I'm going to take the risk and give you my three-week, very brief, superficial and possibly biased account of the Haitian context.

Life as an NGO worker

It is not bad at all. Having a M-F, 9-5 work routine makes life here seem similar to one I could have in Toronto or San Salvador or Buenos Aires. Except it's not similar. There are a lot of security concerns, which make it difficult to get around and socialize. It’s not impossible, but going out does require more planning than what I am used to since we have a curfew, we can't take tap-taps (public transportation), we are not allowed to drive (not that I could anyways), and we generally can’t walk by ourselves. We can use world vision cars or get a ride with someone but it's not the most convenient or reliable system. There are worst things in the world though so as long as I don't get mugged, burgled, or cholera... life is good. Realistically, I am not in any imminent danger of either.

What I do find very disappointing is how hard it is to get out of the expat bubble, at least in Port-au-Prince. It's not that I don't like expats, I am one, but it wouldn't hurt to also befriend Haitians. I am after all in Haiti! When Louisa and I were in Cap Haitian, it was the first time we hung out with (probably wealthy) Haitians, without that many expats in sight, and without talking about work. It felt like a normal night out, finally.

Another thing is the unshakable guilt that I'm living in a cleaner and prettier flat than my previous address while a lot of Haitians are still homeless and/or living under USAID tarps. That's not going away anytime soon.

A world vision car we used while in Cap Haitien

Working at World Vision Haiti

I work in HEA (Humanitarian and Emergency Affairs), along with one other person, my manager. I am here to support the adoption of risk reduction strategies in HEA as well as in the other development sectors (Education, Child Protection, Water and Sanitation, etc.)...and learn stuff in the process! In NGO lingo, I'm here to support DRR mainstreaming.

As I mentioned in my previous post, the office is downsizing in transition from earthquake-related immediate response to resuming normal operations. We are also at the end of the 2013 fiscal year, which is a complicated time for any organization or company. A lot of people are moving on to new roles or leaving the organization due to the finalization of certain projects. I'm not really in the know of what's going to happen. It's challenging but at least I've had the chance to go to the field a lot and I'm focusing on figuring out what the communities need from us.

I have a lot of work to do on a daily basis! It's stimulating, challenging, frustrating, rewarding, exciting, fun. Complex. It's also my first time working in an office so everything is very new.

Right now I'm working on some presentations about risk reduction and researching funding opportunities. I am also really excited to be coordinating an ArcGIS training, part of a larger GIS project HEA has in mind. We are also working with the field to try to focus more on disaster prevention activities and mitigation than response.

The "technical team" office at the end of the day

Community event:
learning about disaster and prevention through games

Community activity:
learning how to transport the injured during emergencies

World Vision was an observer at a disaster simulation at the National Centre for Emergency Operations ~Getting ready for 2013 hurricane season!~

Tourism

Very complicated my friends. Also known as the "pearl of the Antilles", Haiti had a booming tourism industry in the 1970s and early 1980s but it has been struggling since. After the coup and the earthquake, I reckon tourism is recovering slowly. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of beautiful sights and beaches but it is such a struggle to do anything - financially and logistically. In the end, every trip has been worth it but to think of all the obstacles we had to overcome makes me want to stay home watching netflix.

Cocoyer in Petit Goave - definitely worth it and definitely an odyssey

La Citadelle in Cap Haitian - another worth-doing odyssey

Food

FOOD IS SO GOOD! I initially experienced some gastrointestinal challenges (aka diarrhea) for like a week but I think it was just my body adjusting. No big deal. I still really like it but I make sure to stay away from the salad ('cuz bacteria) and avoid anything too greasy. Bellow are my favourite dishes from Creole cuisine so far:

1. Lambis (google that shit) is soo delicious, especially when it's just cooked with a bit of garlic. The simpler the better. We had really delicious Lambis at Petit Goave, Cocoyer.

2. Tasso de Cabrit. It's basically just a goat stew often served with rice and plantain. The photo below is definitely a fancier version of what I had. It was probably equally delicious though.

Montreal Revisited

I went to Montreal last weekend on a spontaneous family trip, which is always fun (no sarcasm here, I really do love my family). I have been there many times before, mostly to visit friends, and once at the tender age of 18 to take advantage of Quebec's lower drinking age. I have always thought that Montreal is to Toronto what Solange is to Beyoncé: quirkier, more fashionable, and cooler but less powerful, and with less money (probably). And even though Solange is amazing and beautiful, would you dump Beyoncé for her? Probably not, right? 

Well this time I really saw Montreal with different eyes. There is no need to compare it to Toronto or Solange or Beyoncé; it is amazing in its own right and I desperately want to move there! Why I am only realizing this now? Keep reading...

1. I am over Toronto. It's the first place I lived in after I immigrated to Canada so it obviously holds a special place in my otherwise cruel heart. However, I did go to High School and University there so as I am starting my career, I am also yearning for something new.

2. I have had the chance to go to many places since the last time I was in Montreal. I had brief but significant stints in Buenos Aires, New York, and a small town in France called Périgueux. I also visited Santiago, Brussels, Milan, Berlin, Budapest, Krakow, etc. Those experiences helped me form an idea of the kind of city and lifestyle I want. For example, I would prefere a place with a strong and varied cultural scene; a mix of old and new architecture and brownstones; a rich history; good food; plenty of green public space; a large body of water nearby; mixed-used zoning; good public transit and a biking culture; an ethnically, culturally, and economically diverse population; and the very scientifically proven presence of a "chill vibe". In this trip, I found that Montreal is perfectly able to fulfill those needs, more so than Toronto, which is rapidly handing its soul over to "economic growth".

3. As a North American port city, some areas in Montreal mimic my beloved New York but unlike Toronto, it doesn't try to be New York, which is awesome. Its vague European flare also reminds of two of my favourite places, Berlin and Brussels. 

4. Finally, after going through quite a few immigration procedures, I realize that moving to Montreal is more reasonable than moving to any of the cities cited above because, you know, VISAS and shit. 

So there you have it. I love Toronto but long live Solange. 

Here are some random pictures of MTL, most of which I did not take:

Park Jean Drapeau - by me

"Chill vibe" - by me

With my brother in Park St. Louis

New Job, New Ankle

Ankle

I've neglected this blog yet again but this time I have a fantastic excuse: I was recuperating from a pretty terrible ankle injury!

I finished my English Assistanceship job at the end of April and on my way back to Toronto, I decided to stop in Ireland and spend some time with Gemma, one of the friends and travel partners I made in Perigueux. She is from N.Ireland and was going back home after our contract ended.

We were really looking forward to having a proper night out in Belfast, unlike ones we had had in Perigueux. We got all glammed up, which not something I do very often. But you know, when in Rome... The night started out great but as we were waiting for a Taxi, I tripped and shattered my ankle in the process. There was blood everywhere. I might have passed out and vomited from a mixture of pain, shock, and a couple of drinks I had on me. I went directly to the hospital.

It turns out I had an open bimalleolar ankle fracture, which basically means that I broke both my tibia and fibula and that somehow the bone broke in such a way that it stuck out through the skin. I had surgery in the morning to clean my wound and screw my bones back together. My x-ray looks a bit like the one below except I have four more screws on my tibia. I also got a cast. I had to stay at the hospital for three days but honestly it wasn't so bad. I was in a lot of pain but I had painkillers and the staff were incredibly nice there! the NHS rules. Also my friend and her family were absolutely lovely. They came to visit me and supported me throughout the ordeal. I am forever greatful to them.

(Left) X-ray of bimalleolar ankle fracture.
(Right)Surgical repair bimalleolar ankle fracture

Luckily, I didn't have to delay my flight back to Toronto; missing out on Belfast and Dublin fun was the least of my worries. I am definitely doing better and the scars are not looking too bad.

This injury has delayed my deployement to Haiti though, which I was very excited to do. I was hired by World Vision to do an Internship there and I was supposed to leave at the end of May. Now I'm going to have to leave at around the end of July. So far I have been compensating me not being there by working really hard to do all the "theoretic" work from home. For example, litterature reviews, article summaries, online trainings. I will post more about what my internship entails in the next few days.

Warsaw and the Big Brown Bear

Warsaw

By the time we got to Warsaw, Joshua had left us for greener and warmer pastures. So had our energy and vitality. Thankfully, Gemma and I had booked a semi-private room which gave us the rest we needed. Most of our daytime schedule consisted on cuddling with a giant stuffed bear (which we later found out got peed on and thrown our #SadTimes #RIP) or idling in the common room. We did do cool stuff though, despite the awful weather. We went out to a jazz bar, a free walking tour, and we ate out loads. Maybe it was the weather but Warsaw did not seem as pretty and nice as Krakow, so if you need to make a choice I would pick the latter. That being said, I really really liked Warsaw and want to go there again in the summertime. The city was almost completely destroyed after WWII so it was interesting to see how it managed to rebuild itself, including monuments and landmarks from pre-war times.

I recommend you...

• Eat some incredibly cheap and delicious food at "Bar Mleczny Familijny", a polish milk bar. The staff does not speak english but they keep an english menu near the cash register. All you need to do is write down what you want and hand it over. Don't be discouraged by this, it's definitely worth a try! More about this place here.
• Have a drink at Barometr klub & drink bar, click here for their website. 

Photos

Familijny 

Familijny

Snoooow

Old town

Old town, most of which has been rebuilt. Photo credit: GPD

Warsaw Uprising Monument

Metro

Our friend the big brown bear